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Eric's Blog - Week Seven

With lock-down restrictions slightly relaxed the prospect of proper work looms. This will actually be the last Eric Blog for a short while as I am heavily in the midst of two projects -

a) the first Eric novel is nearing completion and will be published in November. This means it will be on sale at the Christmas show and is an ideal (and cheap) gift for someone you really don't like. It will also be on sale on Amazon and all good bookshops near you.

b) I am also developing a TV script based on a 60s musical I wrote and produced nearly 25 years ago and which was the predecessor to the Eric shows. This follows some unexpected interest from sources which I'm not allowed to divulge at the moment. Watch this space!

Therefore these projects, plus planning our next New Vic shows (still two to come this year hopefully), will be taking up a lot of time over the next couple of months and the Blog may have to be a little less of a regular feature. However, you can still keep in touch and please do at least one of the following:

1. Follow Eric on Facebook - @TheUncleEric - and don't forget to like his page as well

2. Follow Eric on Twitter - @TheUncleEric.

3. Return to this website at regular intervals.

All three will be bringing news of the next Eric show as soon as it's confirmed.


Right, this week Eric has a photo of his mate, Ron the builder working from home and looks at the difference between life before and during lock-down. The 100-question quiz is now finished but there's still time to get your answers in before they're announced in the next Blog and, hopefully, that's when we'll see the results of the Hi Ho Silver Lining video as well.


Over to Eric...

"Last week I told you that I hadn't seen Gordon for a few days. Well he's made up for it this week and he's posted four, yes, four blogs through the cat flap. More of those later.

It's interesting to see how many people have been working from home during the past eight weeks. I have certainly been carrying on as normal as staying home as requested by HM Government. Below is a photo of my mate, Ron, who's a builder and who has also been working from home.


I have also been thinking about the difference between families before the lock-down and during it. Here is a photo of an ordinary family before the instructions to stay at home -


and this is what they're like during lock-down -

Odd, isn't it.


Through The Cat-Flap

Gordon has been going potty this week writing blog after blog and posting them through the cat-flap. However I did promise him I would publish them so here they are in the order they came through.


MONDAY

Hello, Gordon here. Sorry I didn’t get in touch last week but the anti-virus on my computer ran out so I thought I’d better self-isolate. It has not been a successful day. Despite government advice, I have this morning discovered that it is NOT acceptable to push passers-by in the face with a broom or squirt them with hand sanitiser; and I was verbally abused at the pharmacy counter when I asked if they had any bleach.

Then I decided to cheer myself up with a quick essential trip to yell at Eric through his cat-flap to see if he needed any shopping doing. The woman at Spar told me she doesn’t want to see him in her shop again, which is very considerate of her, as she must be trying to keep him healthy, what with him being a key worker now he’s got that job at Yale Locks.

That last bit was a joke…and a little far-fetched…of course Eric hasn’t got a job!


TUESDAY

I am still confused about what Mr Boris said I can do instead of locking down. Apparently I can go to a park to see my mother, so long as my father stays in the car. Then when she gets back in the car, he can get out. The trouble is that my father died in 1976.

Of course we can now travel to a place of natural beauty to exercise. Don’t get me wrong, I like it where I live, but I don’t think my bus goes that far. So I’ve decided that the best way I could enjoy my new freedom is to exercise my way round to Eric’s ‘multiple times a day’ as is now allowed. Yesterday I went round and had a nice chat with him six times during which I even managed to remember to ask for the fiver he owes me. Unfortunately, on my seventh visit, the cat flap got inexplicably jammed shut and Eric shouted through the door that he was out. Bad timing I guess.

Maybe next week I will be able to expand my social bubble and see Eric, and maybe Bev, again without having to kneel on a welcome mat. Fingers crossed!


WEDNESDAY

Yesterday I found the dress I wore for our local amateur dramatic society’s Christmas pantomime, where Eric and I starred as ugly sisters named after TV chefs, Nigella and Delia. I can’t remember which one I was to be honest; I just know that Eric said we had to be called Nigella and Delia because he couldn’t think of any Fanny jokes. Anyway, I thought I’d try the dress on to make sure it still fitted, and I hadn’t become a furlough fatty! I have to tell you it still fits like a glove. It is both comfortable and stylish, so I’ve decided to keep it on and get some wear out of it while I’m in lock-down. I popped to Eric’s to show him earlier; admittedly you get some funny looks, but it doesn’t half help with your social distancing in the Co-op!


THURSDAY

I have been using my time to reflect on various things. Since 1978 I have been plagued by a one-hit-wonder called Jilted John who released a song wittily entitled Jilted John, the chorus of which consisted of the words ‘Gordon is a Moron’ repeated over and over. People used to sing this to me as I walked down the street, which is both strange and unkind as it should be perfectly obvious to anyone that I do not come from outer-space!

I mentioned this to Eric who patted me on the back and said ‘quod erat demonstradum’ which is apparently Latin for ‘don’t worry about it’.

Eric made an essential journey yesterday to escape Bev, who he had inadvertently called Madge! I don’t know why she was so cross; I thought Eric’s ex-wife Madge was a wonderful woman. They used to use her photograph to keep children from going too near the duck pond which has potentially saved many lives over the years. Every pay-day in the pub, Eric used to tell me how Madge had ‘taken charge of his wages so he couldn’t fritter them’, and so we’d have to fritter mine instead. How thoughtful of her. I used to quite like the idea of Madge rooting through my trousers for loose change, until Eric pointed out that she’d always wait until he’d taken them off first.'


There wasn't a Gordon blog for Friday as I had sealed up both the cat-flap and the letter-box by then. I might have a chat with him next week - once."


And that's all for now, folks.


Don't forget to add a comment at the end of this blog and like it by clicking on the heart. Keep in touch via Twitter and Facebook - @TheUncleEric - and stay safe and well,


David Graham




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